Mavericks executive director Samuel Spicer strolled across the empty diamond on a recent sunny day, discussing the problem of plummetting attendance.

“We strive to make Midcity’s ballpark a safe, family friendly place to see a game,” Spicer said. “There have been no murders here in its 20-year history.”

While Spicer acknowledges the presence of pickpockets, who seem able to vanish into thin air, he said, “Show me a baseball field that’s completely crime-free, and I’ll show you a TV set.”

Midcity Field security has nevertheless been tightened dramatically, and patrons are asked not to bring knapsacks or large bags with them.

The team is hoping to reverse their 98-week losing streak this Friday  against the Milwaukee Brewers.

“The Native Americans who orginally lived in this area had an elaborate system of stories and phenomenological explanations based on the natural world around them,” notes renowned Folklorist Harmony Hanson. “It’s interesting how we have come full circle, basing a new set of stories on the Midcity River, though, instead of water spirits, we’re now pinning our woes on pollutants, which have supposedly given rise to genetic mutations.”

Experts contend that while such stories can be fun to tell around campfires and backyard barbeques, they shouldn’t be allowed to interfere with established ways of doing things.

In addition to the mutant myth, there are also tall tales about vigilantes. “We often get calls asking for information on various mythological organizations – the disillusionists, to name one,” commented Lt. Fenwick Waggoner of the Midcity Police. “There is simply no such thing as the disillusionists. We understand when citizens are frustrated with the procedures that law enforcement officials must follow, but to seek out vigilantes, real or make-believe, is not an appropriate response.”

Law enforcement officials worry that the fears stoked by the urban myths could make citizens vulnerable to exploitation. “Citizens must rest assured that if there is ever any new or unusual threat to worry about, they will be informed immediately by law enforcement and the media.”

Lt. Tony Sahib said the call of the attack came in at 4:50 p.m.

Police headquarters confirm that Zane Aimsley, 39,  was rushed to Midcity General shortly after 5 pm June 26th after. He was confirmed dead on arrival, due to what appeared to be blunt force trauma to the head. An autopsy is scheduled for later this week.

According to witnesses, a brick projectile sailed through the air, hitting Mr. Aimsley on the left temple. He collapsed and could not be resuscitated.

Aimsley’s companion, Barb Brandt, 29, was next to him at the time. “We were just coming out of a movie, and I see this movement out of the corner of my eye, and the next thing I know, he’s lying there,” recalled Brandt.

Nobody claims to have seen the assailant.

Reports from bystanders vary. Some claimed to see the brick trace a “zig zag” trajectory, while others described its path as “willy nilly” or, in one case, an “arc.”

Local psychologists attribute the increase in such reports to the growing hysteria around the killings. “Clearly the recent murders have sparked the public imagination,” said Dr. Bernard Fiefelstein, director of the Midcity Psychologists and Psychotherapists’ Association (MPPA). “It’s common for people in the grip of fear to attribute superhuman powers to an agressor. The story that the Brick Slinger is a highcap—a human with a mutation that results in higher capacity brain, in this case, the ability of telekinesis—can in fact cause people to see things. Basically, it’s the power of suggestion at work.”

Local uniform supply and sporting goods retailers, have reported a dramatic upsurge in the sales of bike helmets, hard hats and other protective headgear.

“We encourage people to stay aware of their surroundings, and if they feel like wearing protective headgear, we think that’s fine,” a police spokesman commented, “but there’s nothing mystical about what’s going on here. The assailant is clearly using a high-powered propulsion device of some sort.”

According to Police Chief Otto Sanchez, police are still investigating the murder; no arrests have been made.

Officers in North Midcity say a masked man with a gun robbed 8 customers of Star Brite Deli, making off with just $8, half of that in coins.

A police department spokeswoman says the man was probably intoxicated, and that the gun was an antique pistol, possibly purchased at the flea market down the street. The gunman fled on foot across the Midcity bike bridge, then disappeared along the Lake Michigan shoreline.

Deputy Leena Hernandez says the man, who accosted 8 diners, also took a fish sandwich.

Nobody was hurt.

Sam Guthrie, teacher: My favorite urban myth is that the Tangle is the cause of Midcity’s problems. Wake up, people, it’s not a highway interchange that is murdering and robbing people. It is not a highway interchange that is causing businesses to close up and move. We’re just in a vicious downward spiral, that’s all.

Alex. C, Receptionist: My favorite urban myth is the highcaps. Who would be stupid enough to the believe in mutant powers?  I think a lot of people have been letting their imaginations run wild with the crime wave these past years, that’s what I think.

Michael Lee, Account Executive: My favorite urban myth is the disillusionists. Let me get this straight – a vigilante group that zings their twisted emotions into criminals, causing a total collapse? Pull-ease.

Why has Midcity has fallen into decrepitude? Why have the jobs lefts? Why is the crime rate soaring? The answer is not supernatural powers or genetic. It’s right in front of our noses: the TANGLE, aka the worst highway interchange every designed. It is more like a hideous rollarcoaster than any normal highway clover.

What twisted traffic engineer dreamed this thing up? it’s impossible to navigate – no wonder there are so many crashes. The residents don’t want to use it, and it encourages people on the highway to completely avoid the city. After all, who would want to come down one of these dangerous ramps? And of course, it’s ugly.

The tangle is like an evil snake, a boa constrictor, sucking the life right out of Midcity and it must be torn down!

I call on our mayor and city council to get rid of this ugly, destructive dangerous highway interchange.

Image: Rollercoaster in Galaxyland, West Edmonton Mall, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada by Qyd

The Midcity Eagle’s Danielle Sorenson reports one of the escapees was serving 192 years behind bars for the notorious “Case District murders.”

None of the inmates has been recaptured.

“We have every confidence that we’ll recapture these inmates,” said Police Chief Otto Sanchez, who has opened a probe of the escapes, as well as a review of procedures at the prison. “This is a law enforcement issue. We’re all accountable and we’ll all work together to see it resolved.”

Sanchez, who said he understands that both the media and public are frustrated by the escapes, accuses some media outlets of heightening the panic with “sensationalistic” headlines.

Others point to local Internet media outlets as the sources of “wild speculation and urban myths” related to the escapes.

“There is nothing special about these criminals,” noted Sanchez. “There’s nothing special about any criminal.

“The Midcity Department of Corrections realizes they need to make this right in the community,” said Connie Tice, spokesperson for the MDOC. “Everyone we talked to says heightened vigilance is the key to re-building that trust.”

Bike helmets, motorcycle helmets or construction hardhats may save your life from a Brick Slinger attack, but they do nothing for your style – especially the clean, crisp lines favored on the runways during New York fashion week.

Not so fast, say Midcity’s style setters: you can have your hot look—without sacrificing safety. Below, three local fashionistas talk about accessorizing with protective headgear.

Lauren Dafoe, Fashion designer and buyer for Maunda’s department store

The key to wearing a hardhat is balancing the accessories! Be bold, have fun, work your hat! Look for chunky necklaces that echo the texture and visual weight of the hat. For an extra splashy twist, I’d recommend finding a coordinating lunch pail, ala construction worker, that you can carry in lieu of a purse.

“If you walk around looking like a frump in a hardhat, the brick slinger has won. My advice: be bold, have fun, work your hat!” says local designer Lauren Dafoe.

Cammi Caston, Interior designer

It’s summer, so what am I thinking? Katherine Hepburn in African Queen. Meryl Streep in Out of Africa. Pair a safari hat with a safari jacket, a good pair of jeans or a khaki dress. Add great heels and a structured bag, and you’re good to go!

Socialite Zhauna Williams

I can’t live without a my red hardhat. I’ll wear it with a black jacket, a T-shirt and jeans, or even a little back dress! It’s just super-chic, as long as you don’t overwhelm it with bright prints. It’s all about having the right basics in your closet.

Jeremiah Jonston, Pitcher for the Midcity Mavericks

You want to find a reinforced hat that’s actually fun to wear. Fat Jackson’s tattoo shop over on 5th and Brown has started putting custom designs on hardhats. I had them do a few. The skull and biker cross hat shows my feeling toward the Brick Slinger. I have another one with a bulldog silhouette that’s more appropriate for church and family outings.

Images: top: Marieclair.com; red hat: Angela Kensington;